A Kristo-Kristi Win

The smell of chalk dust in the air signals the beginning of campaigning season so I'd better tell you why the Tyler Kristopeit / Kristi Anderson ticket is the best. Here we go:

1. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
Jay Burseth and Mike Zahorik are godless hippies that want to have orgies in the middle of the union just because they can. We all know marriage is between a man and a woman and sex (at least among Christians) never happens outside of marriage. Once good Christians are married, sex is only missionary...no butt play folks.

I'm also inclined to vote for whoever has the closest name to Jesus Christ and as Tyler pointed out this is the Kristo-Kristi Campaign. If I'm not mistaken, Kristopeit is German for Christ-lover. I'm sold.

2. Fiscal Conservatism
Tyler Kristopeit has been a part of the College Republicans and Conservative Union for many years now and always emphasized fiscal responsibility through SUFC. Now I know what you're thinking, "but Richard, the College Republicans just requested over $144,000 for next semester to operate." Well they only got $53,000 of that...asshole. That's almost a third of what they wanted! As the College Republicans spending on campus balloons out of control, who better to reign it in than College Republican and soon to be President of the SA Tyler Kristopeit?

3. Straight Jive - Kristi Anderson
I think Kristi Anderson held her own as Team Hippy rambled on endlessly in this Radical Hippie Mouthpiece article. Let's see what she had to say:

UWM Post: Are you in support of the name change idea?
Anderson: I am

UWM Post: What do you think can be done to get students more involved in student government?
Anderson: ____________

Great ideas Kristi!



4. Why so serious?
If there's one thing the SA needs, it's time to take a chill pill. Well, not literally...pills haven't been working out so well on our campus lately. Regardless, I think Kristo-Kristi can bring some love to this arena. Look at Kristi having a good time in local Milwaukee bars. Now I know what you're thinking again (I'm claravoyant or whatever): Isn't it stupid to advertise your illegal activity as an underage drinker on facebook via your photos? What you don't know (and Kristi's way ahead of you on this one) is that Kristi's mom took all of those photos making it legal for her to drink underage in Milwaukee bars. I'm sure all of Kristi's friends (and mom) will confirm this.



5. The Photo
I just want to compare the two photos taken of the separate tickets. In the Burseth/Zahorik photo two seemingly heterosexual hippies standing a bit too close for my comfort. Does that brown sweater signify something? I don't know, I just report the facts, you decide!
Now the Kristo-Kristi photo: Tyler holds a perfect pose, unnatural political smile, and a rigid lean on the ledge behind him...that's a good politician people! Kristi Anderson is just the right distance away from Kristopeit so no hanky panky can take place between the two of them. She also displays plenty of school spirit with that kick ass UWM apparel. A+ Kristo-Kristi!

Well, I think I've given you five damn good reasons to vote for Team Kristo-Kristi. Hell, vote twice (see Rob "On my IEC throne, bitches" Grover for more details).

RH Election Sweep!