It's been a little while since I've given you any straight jive, but that's because I've been on Spring Break. For me it's the craziest time of year. I usually go to Florida or South Padre and look at all the ladies, but this year I headed to Mexico.
That State Department terrified me at first, but then I realized I'm invincible. Mexico's never seen the likes of "Big Dick" Heidrich before, but I showed 'em what I'm all about. Mexico is a dude's paradise. People actually want to give you blowjobs for $10!!!! Can you believe that? Usually me and my bros gotta coerce some ladies into these things, but not in good ole Mexico!
Besides all the good cheap lovin' I've been catching up on the latest James Frey book and contemplating a DMB/Phish tour...could it ever happen? Maybe...if the shrooms aline.
Anyway, I'm leaving Mexico soon. I'm not too sure what Mexicans do, but it seems like they're kind of poor. I guess they just don't work hard enough because if they worked really hard they'd all be CEOs by now, especially Mexican women.
Anyway, when I get back I'm going to WalMart to help support the American economy in this financial crisis. I think you'd all better do your part and hit America's biggest clothing chains to help the American textile industry stay afloat.
RH Out!
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