Enough! After thinking about all of the things that have happened this past year, we need radical change. I'm sick of this centrist government always appeasing the liberals on campus. We need fast action and tons of meaningful legislation. That's why I am drafting Joseph P. Ohler Jr. for President. Last year he showed us he could take tough stands , but (no disrespect Grove Stove) Rob Grover decided to cave the liberal hippie agenda for whatever reason and veto Joe's legislation. Joe's a thrifty guy. I certainly want a President who checks vending machine change slots and doesn't shower that often.
If we're drafting a President, shouldn't we draft a Vice President? Personally, I think Joe embodies the ideal President/VP so why not collect two salaries? Others think that's "politically insane" and "asinine," but they're also idiots.
If Joe has to run with someone, I'm informed that Johanan Raatz would be an amazing veep. I don't know Mr. Raatz so I did a google search of him. Below is a photo of him, presumably. It's the first one that appears when doing a google image search.
Now if Joe and Johanan get into those dreaded campaign debates, Joe can pull out his secret weapon. Although I'm divulging future campaign secrets, there's really nothing anyone can do about this one. Johanan will just begin to talk to the opposition about philosophy, ideology, and whatever else he has been reading about in his racecar bed at home. If that won't shut 'em down, nothing will!
2 comments:
Wow Richard, I am honored that you have chosen me as your favorite SA Presidential candidate! If a groundswell of support is evident among the UWM students, I will definitely consider it. Perhaps someone will start a Facebook group? I would have to let someone else start that group because I don't want to run unless I know the support is plentiful out there. Also, nice retro reference to the JS article!
A parody song for a parody page!
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/josephohlerjr
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