The Internet is Awesome!

This is just great!

Lame Stream Media swindlers The Onion think they know a thing or two about HOW TO RUN A GOVERNMENT. Well, I'd like to see them try. No doubt, I got a chuckle when they tore that hippie Zahorik a new one. But then they did the unthinkable. Or, in the case of the lame streamers, the totally predictable: they picked on the Duer. Those stupid communist nazis hate the Duer. But no, patriots, don't cry for Kyle. He can take it. Afterall, it's not him that they are truly afraid of. It's you. All of you. Because you are ready to take back our country. Take it back from that black guy and give it back to a white guy.

And so, to spite The Onion, The Duer and I will be travel-blogging next week on our SA-funded trip to New York City. While there, we will express our anger a la Zahorik by re-claiming the civil rights movement. You might think we are just protesting the site of the "Ground Zero Mosque," but you would be wrong, Patriots.

No, no, no. Not because I believe in freedom of religion.
Puh-lease!
There is only one prophet for me, and he profits from gold endorsements!

No, friends, I am plagued by a burning question: Why there?

Why there?

Why there?

Why there?

And so this trip is more of a pilgrimage than anything else. Yes, a holy pilgrimage. The Duer and I will find out why an abandoned Burlington Coat Factory, that holiest of holy places, was chosen as the site for a new building. Because I don't know. I don't know "why there." Don't get me wrong, I support their right to build there, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Or understand it.

But here's what I'm really thinking, Patriots. If enough of us gather at the Burlington Coat Factory, on the anniversary of their last Labor Day weekend sale, at the exact same location, we can re-claim the entire coat factory movement. Afterall, we wear coats. New Yorkers don't "own" the coat movement or Burlington Coat Factory.

And maybe, just maybe, the Duer and I can use our combined powers to convince the Mosque builders to abandon their plans for building there. Even if they just moved it a few blocks away, we could return to Milwaukee and breath a sigh of relief.